good read

So i just finished reading "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand...I really loved it..but from what i hear most people either love it or they hate it..I thought it provided a really interesting social philosophy..for those of you interested in social theory i highly recommend reading it..who knows you might change your own beliefs...

finals finals finals...

i just cannot believe that the semester is almost over...i am thoroughly looking forward to a nice long summer.. but i must say that this class has really opened my eyes to a lot of 1st amendment free speech issues and im glad that i got to be in hcom 310

morality

have you ever wondered where we get our moral and ethical standards? It is obvious to conclude that every living being lives by some code of ethics, but how and why do we see differentiation between individuals? For instance, some philosophers argue that all of our morality and ethics are simply social constructs, which would explain why we see different sets of values varying from culture to culture. But notice if you go along that train of thought, than are we merely products of our environment? Furthermore, if they are social constructs who decides what is "right" or "wrong"? the government? the people, because they vote for the government? my point being is that things that this culture has deemed as right or wrong are not necessarily as such, merely they are what we have been taught as right or wrong. This to me is scary because if what i've said above holds to be true, than we are no better then lemmings following a leader. Is it because we are afraid to think on our own? that we would rather be told what to think and how to feel rather than trust our own instincts and rationality?...just some questions i had rolling through my mind this afternoon.

thursday....

I think it's really interesting that in our class discussion on Thursday we spoke about Annie Sprinkle and about how some of her material may not have been appropriate to show in class because it might make people uncomfortable. The irony here is we had a few particular situations in class that day that certainly did not make me feel comfortable. Now, I know we all like the sound of our own voices (at least I sure do) but not at the cost of getting stressed out or upset over. It really irks me when people start to take things personal. This is an academic setting, we are suppose to be able to talk about issues that we don't agree on , but also to do so in a respectful way. It really amazes me that we have this petty arguing going on over matters that are irrelevant and take away from class discussion of matters that actually pertain to the subject matter.

I cant believe there are only a few weeks left until finals! where has this year gone?
is everybody enrolled for next fall??? ahhh i cant wait until summer... :)

monday funday!

So its only Monday and I already cannot wait for the week to be over!! I'm stressed out about midterms, grades, online classes, money, bills. Ahh! I feel like when it rains it pours. Oh well, I guess I'm also a little but apprehensive about what I am going to do after I leave CSUMB. Ideally, I would like to get into a graduate program but I feel like there is so little information given to us about higher education and it makes my future seem hazy, which I do not like. I wish there were more programs at CSUMB that took the intiative to inform students about progams for Masters and Doctorate programs..and if there are progams like this that I am unaware of, someone let me know!!

short story.

So I wrote this story for my creative writing class; and while there is some fictional aspects to it; the main piece is true and happened to my mother. Lemme know how ya like it!

It was a hot summer. The weather man promised that the sweltering heat wave would continue for the next few weeks. Highs soaring into the triple digits he claimed with a wink and a smile as the camera panned back to the anchorwoman. Mom cursed under her breath and took a long drink of her soda pop. I was more enthused with the heat; I loved the long days of summer. Playing in the tall dry grass, or roaming amongst the orange groves; there were endless adventures to partake in and life was as simple as the oranges were sweet. Who would have known that in those few, hot sticky months, a veil of innocence would be lifted from my eyes and never again could I see our sleepy little town through the eyes of a child. That long windless day in mid-July altered my perception of life so utterly and totally that it completely changed the course of my life.
The day started off just like any other Saturday, I slept in until the heat crept its way slowly but surely into my room making it impossible to linger in bed a second longer. I walked down the hallway thankful that the linoleum felt cool under my bare feet. Mom was already cooking breakfast which made me realize just how ravished I was. “One or two eggs honey?” she called over the crackling sound of frying bacon and potatoes. “Better make it two, I’m starving!” While waiting for breakfast, I took the liberty of pouring myself a cup of coffee. Up until recently I found the drink to be horribly bitter and strictly for adults, however these last few months I had acquired a fond taste for the beverage and in particular the jolt of caffeine that came along with it. Mom still didn’t really like the idea of me drinking coffee, something about it stunting my growth, but I didn’t care, I was sixteen now and besides I already knew everything. Shortly after breakfast our phone rang. As usual, mom was the first to it; ever since my brother joined the Navy she never strayed too far from the communication device and I was beginning to think she was a little bit paranoid.
“Hello?” my mom called into the phone and then after a brief silence I heard, “may I ask who is calling?” This perked my attention and I wondered who this caller could be. “Just a second,” mom replied to this mysterious caller just before she called my name. “JoJo, you have a phone call!” My heart surged a bit as I anticipated all the people who could possibly be calling me. I jumped up from my chair and skipped to the phone stopping just short of plowing through the sliding glass door. “Hi, this is Jo!” I said half out of breath. “Hey its Jim, what are you up to today?” I could hardly contain the excitement in my voice. Jim was my new boyfriend, or at least that was what it seemed like. All my girlfriends at school seemed to think he liked me and just a few days ago he had asked for my number. “Hey Jim, I don’t really have any plans yet, just hanging out at the house, it sure is a hot day.” I listened intently into the receiver waiting for this response. “Yeah, it really is hot out. My mom said I could have some friends over to swim in our pool and I was wondering if you could like to come.” I simply couldn’t believe my ears! “Of course, I would love to come! I need to ask my mom first because I need a ride into town; hang on just a sec!” I put my hand over the receiver and quickly asked mom if she would please please please take me into town so I could go swimming. She contemplated the idea before responding, “Well I suppose I could drop you off in town since I have to take your sister to get some new shoes anyways.” I picked up the receiver again, “Jim? My mom said she would take me into town, I’ll see ya soon!” I don’t even think I heard his response because I was already running to my room to get my stuff ready.
Forty-five minutes later we were riding along the two lane road into town. The heat created mirage-like waves in front of the car, but they always seemed to remain just slightly out of reach. Mom blasted the air conditioner and pretty soon the car was like an ice box. On the way into town I thought about Jim; he was the sandy haired boy I had been in love with since eighth grade. He belonged to the “in” crowd and I admired the ease in which he did things. Anything from chemistry to running track, Jim could not only perform but he could perform well. Oh sure he had other social attributes too,(not that these things really mattered to me at the time) for instance he came from a wealthy respectable protestant family that was highly involved in the community. One might even say he was the kind of guy you would love to hate, if you could only find a reason to hate him and in this way he made many people jealous.
Still preoccupied with my thoughts, I didn’t even realize we had already made the trek into town and had stopped outside of Jim’s house. Mom turned my way and said to call her when I was ready to be picked up. “Don’t make it too late Jo, I want to have dinner ready by 6.” Already half way up the front walkway I called back,” yeah sure mom no problem! I’ll see ya later!” I stood in front of Jim’s white colonial style house complete with a brick walkway and for the first time I realized I was actually a bit nervous. Nonetheless, I sauntered up to the big black door, let the shiny brass knocker rise and fall a few times and stood still. A minute went by but it seemed like an eternity, unsure of what to do, I rang the doorbell; after all everyone could just be out back swimming. Still my ring went unanswered and now I was beginning to become uneasy. Finally, I heard footsteps from within the house and momentarily I forgot why I had even doubted him.
Jim opened the door slightly and stuck his head out; which struck me as odd because I knew he didn’t have any animals he kept indoors. I waited a moment, half expecting him to see it was me and swing the door open but when that didn’t happen I looked to his face for an explanation. He bore a weak smile and on closer inspection I noticed that his normally tan skin looked rather pale. “Uh, hey Jo, how’s it going?” I stood there in with my bathing suit on and towel in hand and replied, “Hey, I’m good; I can’t wait to jump in the pool though!” Jim looked like he had physically been hit in the face, “well about the pool,” he paused as if trying to pick out the best words,” my mom said I could invite you over before she realized…” he trailed off and I stood there waiting for him to finish. “Realized what?” I finally stammered. “Well that you’re uh…ya know…Mexican,” he replied with a sense of finality.
For a second I thought he must have been joking, I mean this was the 70’s; and wasn’t racism over anyways? When I finally realized he wasn’t kidding I asked if I might be able to use the phone to call my mother for a ride. Further embarrassed he said softly,” Actually Jo, I’m not allowed to let you in the house at all.” My cheeks flushed to bright burgundy and without saying anything, I turned slowly and walked back down the long brick drive. Once I got to the corner of Jim’s street I ran several blocks to the nearest pay phone and sat outside the booth still thoroughly shocked at what had just happened. Since it took mom about thirty minutes to get back home I had plenty of time to think about what I was going to tell her.
This was the first time something like this had ever happened to me. I I felt ashamed and hurt but these feelings where only temporary. I realized that while Jim may have had everything on the outside; he lacked so much on the inside that he could never be happy. Who cares if I was Mexican and my skin darker than his? Why was that a problem and furthermore what kind of parents promoted this kind of issue. At once, all of the high school crush feelings dissipated and all that was left for Jim was sorrow and pity. I may have not been white or rich but I was proud of my culture and proud of my parents for providing me with such a moral soundness that I would never question or be afraid of who I was. I decided not to tell my mom about the incident that day; it wasn’t worth my time to speak of such shallow people and besides I knew in my heart of hearts what was right and what was wrong. I felt no desire to speak of Jim or his mother ever again and as I rode away out of town I said I silent prayer for them; that one day they might understand their flaws and find the power to overcome them.